The drawback of being interested in an idiosyncratic array of sport is that, of course, sporting events clash and you are forced to choose between them. Tough life, I know. So it was quite handy the Man Utd coach got caught up in traffic (yeah, traffic in London – who knew?) as it gave me the chance to finish watching the British Gymnastics Championships. Yes, really, football and gymnastics; love ’em both. It was a good decision as the gymnastics turned out to be far better than the first half of the football at White Hart Lane. United were pants and didn’t create a single chance – no change there, then – while Tottenham’s Erik Lamela missed a header so easy my granny could have scored it whilst doing her knitting and sipping an Earl Grey.
By the time the second half started, the final round of the Masters was also under way. Unfortunately, no one was making a move from the pack, so I stuck with the football and was duly rewarded in the 61st minute with a shot on goal from Anthony Martial. Yes, I know. I was so overcome I had to lie down for a few moments to recover. Unfortunately, the shock of creating one-whole shot on target seemed to send the entire United team into a catatonic stupor as well, rather conveniently enabling Spurs to score 3 goals in six minutes and secure the 3 points. Well, it’s not like we want to be in the Champions League next season, is it? Far more fun to languish in Europa League obscurity, trekking to far flung European outposts playing unknown teams with unpronounceable names (or the Scousers), instead.
The benefit of being interested in an idiosyncratic array of sport is that, of course, there is always another sporting event to divert your attention and rescue you from despairing over the state of your football team (I would be despairing over the state of my football team if I could be bothered). Instead, I can despair over the state of Rory Mcllroy’s game at the Masters.